Bachelorette parties, yawn...

Not that we have any business being at bachelorette parties, but don't girls have better ways to party like a rock star before walking down the aisle? From a guys' perspective, most bachelorette parties these days seem really boring. There has to be a better way to spend a weekend with a dozen of your best girlfriends. Here is a pictorial of how an average bachelorette evening flows; humor us and click on this link. Activities include: going to the spa, getting your makeup and nails done, playing board games, wearing cheap tiaras and pink boas, drinking Bellinis out of penis straws, going out to dinner (usually Italian), then bar-hopping from one lame place to the next... You get the idea. Some are bold enough to go to a Chippendale's or Thunder from Down Under show. Later on at the bars, girls huddle in a circle and shout a bunch of nonsense while the bride-to-be dances around with a rubber dildo strapped to her forehead. Brilliant. DJs at bars hate giving shout-outs to lame bachelorettes like this, unless they can get with one of the cute bridesmaids of course. For the fellas trying to get in the mix, cut to the chase and prey on the one having a hard time in her heels - there's always one in each group. You'll find her dragging her feet 10 yards behind the procession. Who came up with the disturbing idea of penis straws anyway? They should be SHOT.

Welcome Alternative: Here is the bottom line; most bachelorettes don't party hard enough. Don't you realize that your fiancée is out getting ass? We went to a bachelor party in Atlantic City last year that was beyond X-rated. In fact, the weekend left us shell-shocked and made us want to go to church for confession on Sunday (and we're atheists)! Incidentally, we've been asked to be Best Man in our friend's wedding next summer and thoroughly look forward to organizing some shenanigans ahead of the wedding. Bridezilla, beware! Just kidding... Seriously though, girls really need to step their game up a notch. We're not saying you have to come back with kidney failure - just party a little harder and get the poison out of your system before the big day. Take a trip over to Amsterdam (Dutch guys are tall), hit up Montreal (see this Girls' Getaway Package), or party it up in Jamaica at Hedonism. Do something really worth bragging about on Facebook! Don't you want to stash away some stories that will make your groom jealous and keep him guessing for months to come?

Footnote: Ever hear of Jack & Jill parties? Times are tough, but they should be outlawed. We'd rather watch white paint dry.

Footnote 2: If you're looking to organize a bachelorette dinner party in NYC, go to Tortilla Flats on West 12th & Washington! Our brother works there, guaranteed fun.